Vaginal Dilators: What, Why, How?
If you’ve been dealing with pelvic pain, painful sex, or a sense of tightness or tension in your pelvic floor, you may have come across something called vaginal dilators. Maybe they were recommended by your pelvic floor therapist, a doctor, or found through a google search.
They can look a little intimidating at first. And they kinda look like dildos? Are they dildos? What the heck are they?!
Let’s break it down.
Yes, they do kinda look like dildos, but they’re not!! They’re more smooth and come in varying sizes. More importantly, they are a medical tool, not a sex toy. (however, you can also use them as a sex toy if you’d like.)
What Are Vaginal Dilators?
They’re actually a really common and supportive tool for working with pelvic floor dysfunction, especially when working with vaginismus, hyper-tension, fear, pain, or a trauma history. They are also used after vaginioplasty to prevent narrowing of the canal.
Sometimes you’ll see them called vaginal trainers. They are smooth, tube- or wand-shaped tools designed to be inserted into the vagina (but there are also dilators for the anus!).
They usually come in a set of increasing sizes, so you can gradually work your way up as your body becomes more comfortable and less reactive. They’re often made of medical-grade silicone, plastic, or glass, and should always be used with plenty of lube and ideally with guidance from a provider (like a pelvic floor therapist). (P.S. Do not use silicone lube on silicone dilators.) See our recommended dilators with comparison of different products.
Why might you use vaginal dilators:
You have tight pelvic floor muscles
If you have difficulty inserting things into the vagina (penis, toy, fingers, menstrual products). This can be the case with vaginismus.
You experience pain with intercourse
You experience spasms
You feel disconnected or fearful of insertion
You’ve had vaginioplasty and need to maintain vaginal width and depth
After radiation treatment or hysterectomy
What do dilators do:
Aid as a tool in brain re-processing to communicate with the brain to allow for varying or increasing amounts of pressure (both with depth and width)
Ease pain and fear with insertion
Help with the mind-body connection to the pelvic floor and insertion
Gently stretch tight pelvic floor muscles
Release trigger points
Rebuild trust and safety in your body
Support healing from pain with intercourse, medical exams, menstrual product insertion and more
Image shows a woman using a vaginal dilator while propped on a wedge pillow, showing anatomy view of dilator inside vaginal canal. Image used with permission from Pelvic Guru®, LLC as a Pelvic Global Member
How do you use vaginal dilators?
While they do work with the body physically, nervous system safety is a huge part of how they work. If your body is clenching or guarding out of fear, anxiety, or pain anticipation, simply “inserting something” won’t help. We have to communicate with the body and brain, while engaging in re-processing techniques.
That’s why dilator work often includes:
Breath-work
Visualizations
Affirmations
Nervous system regulation techniques
Boundaries and self-consent practices
Working with belief systems
Simply attempting to stick a dilator inside and expect it to heal the tissues is not enough, and when not done with proper body consent practices, it may not work at all. It’s about slowly teaching your body, brain, and pelvic floor that you are in control, not under threat, and that the brain can change it’s reponse to the pressure.
They are meant to be used GRADUALLY! Often people come to me after already trying dilators on their own without any guidance, saying it didn’t work for them and it was painful so they just stopped and haven’t touched the box since. This is very common, and can easily be changed around with different techniques and bringing the nervous system on board. Here’s 5 tips for using dilators confidently.
Working with a pelvic floor therapist can help you use them in a supportive way.
If you’re having pain with sex, check out our free guide to get you started!
Anxious Pelvis offers trauma-informed pelvic floor occupational therapy, virtual coaching, & education for pelvic pain, vaginismus, painful sex, bladder and bowel dysfunction, pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause, and gender-affirming care.
Denver Clinic: 3801 E Florida Ave, Suite 915, Denver, CO 80210
Virtual care through our coaching & education services available worldwide.
By Anxious Pelvis | Pelvic Floor Occupational Therapy in Denver, CO & Virtual Coaching Worldwide
Remember: this post is for informational purposes only and may not be the best fit for you and your personal situation. It shall not be construed as medical advice. The information and education provided here is not intended or implied to supplement or replace professional medical treatment, advice, and/or diagnosis. Always check with your own physician or medical professional before trying or implementing any information read here. 